I've always wanted my own copy of the Oxford English Dictionary. Found one in a used bookstore here in Tacoma. It's used, of course (or I'm sure it would be so far out of my price range as to make me forget even looking at the price), but it's still in the box, and still has the original magnifying glass it comes with.
Tomorrow, my super-secret plan (so secret, I'm willing to blog it) is to lure my unsuspecting wife into the bookstore, and when her arms are full of whatever treasures she happens to unearth, I will risk throwing my back out and heft the dictionary up on the counter. When she opens her mouth to say something, I will lift one arm and shout, "Oh, look, it's an albatross!" ...With any luck at all, the distraction will give me time to swipe the debit card.
I'll keep you posted.
PS--still finding ways around the hotel internet filters to post on this blog...