Sunday, April 29, 2012

Express Line At The Service Counter? Horse Puckey!

I'm sure I'm not the only one that gets nailed by this. I'm not the only guy out there who reads the sign that says:
Express Line--5 Items or Less
 ...And doesn't see the sign behind the clerk that says:
 Service Counter

Express Line  is easy to understand. It means you can whip through, pay for your less than 5 items, and be on your merry way. Even if there are four more people in front of you, you should be able to get through faster than going through the regular line when someone is buying their groceries for the week. That's the intent. That's why grocery stores have express lines. They want you to get your items there and not at the convenience store where it might be more convenient. The intent was to bring convenience to the grocery store.
   Then some bright (and by bright in this instance, I mean dim) bulb decided to couple the Express Line with the Service Counter.

   I don't know where you do your grocery shopping, but at the grocery store in this town the service counter is where you go to: get refunds, buy tobacco products, drop off and pick up your dry cleaning, buy lottery tickets, cash checks, send telegrams, cash in your voucher from the coin machine, and probably some other stuff I can't imagine.
   I avoid the service counter/express line. I no longer believe in it. It's kicked my coupons too many times.
   But sometimes I'm stuck. Today I wanted one item. One 79-cent item that was available only from the service counter/Express line.
   I looked with relief at the line. There was one man in front of me. One guy with nothing but a newspaper in his hands.
   But wait! No... He pulled a narrow red folder from his back pocket. It was a lottery/lotto ticket folder. I stood behind him with smoke coming from my ears as he bought--slowly and deliberately--17 instant lottery tickets, four lotto tickets (and took his sweet time deciding which numbers to toss into the void), a pack of cigarettes, cash a check...and request dollar coins as change for the amount over the cost of his purchase that he wrote the check to cover.
   I swear... If I thought I could've gotten away with it, I would have tackled the old fart. Alas...evidently, there's rules against that sort of thing.
   The lady with the shopping cart full of goods and a coupon for each item wished me a good morning on her way out. She walked in with me...
   I almost asked Mr. Lottery/Lotto/Cigarettes/Dry Cleaning/Check Casher if he would like me to run home and get him a camp chair so he could sit down while he did his business, but I was a little afraid he would think I was being sarcastic...


tabithamason said...

Well, putting "poor service counter" on the sign is probably frowned upon by corporate, just as tackling old men is generally frowned upon by society.

David J. Steele said...

The service at the service counter is excellent. The problem is too many services at one counter.

As for tackling old men...I think it depends on which old man you tackle. ;-) Unfortunately, I'm 5'6" and weigh less than a shopping cart. Not only is it impolite for me to tackle old's downright dangerous.