Tuesday, April 23, 2013

We Have A Rule: Don't Do Dishes in the Bathtub

...As you might guess, it's our rule, not my rule. In other words, I didn't make the rule...which means I might or might not follow the rule.

The rule came about because our crock pot doesn't fit in our kitchen sink very well, which makes it difficult to wash. I solved that problem once by taking out the ceramic lining and washing the thing in the bathtub.

Proud of my ingenuity, I left some bits of carrot  and a few hunks of celery on the bathtub drain and waited for my wife to inquire about the presence of vegetables in the bathtub, then admire my ingenuity.

The first happened...the second did not. In fact, she made up a rule: Don't to dishes in the bathtub. Not ever. Not one bowl, not one spoon, and certainly not a crock pot.

Dishes. She specifically forbade the washing of dishes.

She never said a word about ironing board covers.
I use a lot of starch when I iron. I also iron every seam when I make clothing, and I recently made a pair of pants. Our ironing board cover was matted with starch and bits of black thread.

Ironing board covers aren't expensive. I pay about five bucks at a store a couple of blocks away. It's not a big problem to replace the ironing board cover, but I hate spending money on such a boring purchase. Still, the one on the ironing board was beyond it's usefulness.

The cheap ironing board covers I buy don't hold up in the washing machine. They're made of cheap cotton and by the time they go through the spin cycle, they're shot.

But... As I was ironing a shirt before showering this morning, it occurred to me that I could clean the ironing board cover in the bathtub while I showered. This is known as killing two birds with one stone. It's also known as living dangerously. I do these things with the knowledge that I will--most probably--have some explaining to do when, not if, I get busted.

So, I removed the crispy thread covered ironing board cover and tossed it in the tub. I closed the drain and proceeded to take my shower. I kicked the ironing board cover around in the water, watching the water turn yellow with starch and fill with threads. When I rinsed myself, I rinsed the ironing board cover.

When I dressed, I went upstairs and put the ironing board cover back on the ironing board. Wow! It's clean, baby! Saved myself five bucks in the process, too!

I'm a genius. I don't say it often, but it's true.

Now we come to the part of my "genius" that's going to get me killed one of these days--maybe even this day.

You see, there's a yellow ring around the bathtub now. The yellow ring bears quite a few black threads.
A true genius would clean the bathtub.

I'm not going to do that. I'm testing a hypothesis. My hypothesis is as follows:
By the end of this day, there will be a new rule, a corollary to the Dish Rule of 2010: Thou Shalt Not Wash Fabric in the Bathtub.

I'm not a fan of rules...but for some reason, they tend to grow in my path. They grow like weeds in my path.

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